TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT: PREPARE TO DIE EDITION

[10billionghosts]

SUP FUCKS. I'm drunk. Welcome to the entirely unannounced TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT: PREPARE TO DIE (in the woods) EDITION. BROTHER IS NOT HERE TO SAVE YOU, but maybe Pocket is idk I kinda wanna play Dimi instead we'll see how this goes lmao.

WHAT IS TFLN?

Texts from Last Night (TFLN) is a chat meme format (we would know it as a shitpost format, I think) wherein players post top level comments as characters, sharing 1 - 5 "texts from last night" that they sent while the character was absolutely shitassed, whether from drink, drugs, studying for their exams, or getting their ass beat in the waffle house parking lot.

Other characters then reply to one of those shitassed drunk texts as though they had been the recipient. Conversation ensues. Be gay, do crimes. Typos, misfires, and ill-advised love confessions are aggressively encouraged in the TFLN format.

TFLN can produce a lot of really amazingly ridiculous conversations, but it is inherently, at its core, kinda horny, imo. If you want to be horny, be horny. Embrace cringe. I personally dare you to experience euphoria.

HOW DO I PARTICIPATE?

STEP ONE: consider getting absolutely fucked up on your fucker upper of choice before you start, because it's all funnier that way. don't feel obligated to though. be the best person u can be i love u and wish u the absolute best. u are an audaciously talented and good person.

STEP TWO: decide who you want to post headers for and what their starters will be. we are all like, frankly? DISGUSTINGLY talented people, so I'm sure we can all make up fun and hysterical drunk texts all on our own, but the traditional way to play is to go to texts from last night and steal those texts and post a few you like as though your character smithed them, themself. I'm gonna try to get some examples together rq so you can see what they typically look like.

STEP THREE: post a header. for ease of use put your character name in the subject line (for example: DIMI EVERCREECH, OTA). if you're feeling self-conscious (you shouldn't bc we're all at the "openly farts in front of everyone" stage i think) you can list a specific subject line like "LIAM BLUMENTHAL | OPEN TO CANON MATES ONLY" and then we will all follow the social contract and only hit you with other FWA characters because we're all good ppl here.

in the body of your post, list 1 - 5 "texts from last night" that your character sent while discombobulated, feeling their feelings, drunk, high, or dissociated. It helps to label them [1] through [x] where [x] is however many. Consider these texts starters.

STEP FOUR: get fuckin involved, babe. reply to other ppls' comments with a sober or drunk response to one of their text options. be sure to list which drunk text you are replying to in the subject of your reply.

STEP FIVE: tie hector's corpse to your chariot and drunk chat with old friends or cross-canon to power up your struggling brain. promise the brain chemicals you'll get from a good thread are fuckin transcendent, y'all

STEP SIX: have fun. I'll come to your house and ruin your day if u don't.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What if the texting naturally transitions to a prose thread?
I'm so glad you asked and that I didn't put these words in your mouth for them. That's actually the most exciting thing about last night: having bad fucking ideas while drunk texting, and letting them transition into "meatspace" experiences for your characters. TRANSITION TO PROSE IF YOU WANT IN THIS POST. OR WRITE BRACKET RP. OR TAKE IT TO A SCREENED POST THAT I CAN'T SEE. I PROMISE I WILL STILL PERCEIVE THE POSITIVE WRITING ENERGY IN MY MIND'S EYE. POST THE FINISHED LOG TO THIS COMM FOR ME TO READ I FUCKING DARE U.

Can I play...
yes? play them. gooseverse, personaverse, otherverse, new OC we've never met, canon character from an obscure gacha game, IDFK I am so fucking excited to write with you assholes.

I don't know how to...
man I don't either and I really gotta pee but I'm not gonna until I get this posted. if it feels good do it.

But what if...
no worries baby if anyone's naughty I'll erase all their canon events from the timeline.

uh...
bro I really REALLY gotta pee please brb bio

can we have an ooc section?
lmao no make an ooc post if you want I am ungovernable.

Comments

DIMI EVERCREECH

[evercretin]

[1] I just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

[2] Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

[3] why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

[4] Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.

1

[circuitree]

THEY'RE CLEARLY GONNA STEAL YOUR KIDNEY????????????

LIAM BLUMENTHAL

[unironickylorenfan]

[1] So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.

[2] She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren

[3] Let the record show that I hate your ass.

[4] I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.

2

[ballhoot]

it's called a bass drop bitchh

JACK RYDER

[nonecknovember]

[1] My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.

[2] I'm in this lady's bathroom. What the fuck does this say. [a blurry jpeg]

[3] Want lembas bread

[4] hdave uf scheeen my hjead? it rolled awhat and i knant' fijnd it

2

[peterpangolin]

you shit?

JUPITER QUIGLEY

[gasgiant]

[1] hole plz

[2] uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[3] what do you think rick james's birth name is

[4] get the bucket

1

[beautyfull]

a

very

deep

(bass drop)



hole

YANCEY MONTGOMERY

[hotdish]

[1] I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.

[2]> I smell like beef jerky

[3] I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.

3

[lachlangalbraith]

[...] Is this negotiable?

ZEKE ZELIZER

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

[1] tbh at first i was on the bathroom floor bcz im hungover but now im just here bc its cool

[2] help why am i in atlanta

[3] so i think the couch is pregnant

3

[beautyfull]

better the couch than anyone else literally

KYRA WILKIE

[weewilywilkie]

[1] i thought it was your cat but I was wrong your roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.

[2]
had to remind myself that killing you is not a good career move.

again.

[3] please stop.

2

[droppedyoursmile]

It sounds to me like you're in the wrong profession.

ROBIN YOUNGBLOOD

[hisshiss]

[1] you look like a man in need of a goat

[2] GOOGLE HOW 2BEAT UP A DMEON IM BUSY

[3] did u just fuckin forgive me what did i say

[4] what re u gonna do stab me bytche

2

[emulsify]

knife

Cryspa

[beautyfull]

[1]i went on the date. her pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and like she wasn't.

[2] yr cells look shiny today

[3] how many rich men do u think i could get to text me at once
i guess like 15

[4] uh oh

3

[imaginist]

What, do you need the money?

LINDEN DRAKE

[thelindworm]

[1] Found underwear in my fridge. Does it belong to you?

[2] You would not believe what my skin just turned into. Hint: worst texture imaginable.

[3] ssssssss

[4] hey sorry i acted weird the other day i was trying so hard to be normal that it backfired

3

[hisshiss]

yeah thats what they all fuckin say

EUREKA CASTILLO

[rafflesian]

[1] uh oh i'm in heat but i'm all out of suppressants 👉👈

[2] ii want your dna

[3] do you want a free cat

1

[stophit]

wait are you an omega in this scenario

THE MOODY MUSCHERON

[peckishbeings]

[1] HOO DIS

[2] NOT TAKENG ORDERZ NOW THENK U

[3] OWN THIS NOW

1

[goodglyph]

I'm not sure anyone remembers me.

AGATHA NYLUND

[rosevale]

[1] Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.

[2] This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

[3] Update: I may or may not be in a cult
[...]
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult

1

[thelindworm]

I mean, what else are men good for?

TODD SKYNNER

[quickbuck]

[1] Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

[2] just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you

[3] All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

3

[dinahdanger]

Do you mean bread?

LEE ARMSTRONG

[woeislee]

[1] I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog??

[2] Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy... oop daydreaming again

[3] We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....

2

[youredoinggreatsweetie]

and I wasn't even INVITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARIADNE FLINT

[novelling]

[1] i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.

[2] I accidentally sent my brother a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"

[3] I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level

TESS NOBLE

[noblewon]

[1] did you take my fucking granola bars

[2] I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important

[3] WHY IS MY DESK FULL OF SPIDERS?

1

[likeamothra]

No. Fuck. Jesus.

LIBERTY CHAN

[ghostbluster]

[1] I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

[2] Sorry I wouldn't stop shouting scientific facts at you

ILIYA KRUM

[iliya]

[1] Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?

[2] "Nude cello playing" is more appealing as fantasy than reality.

[3] Why do people talk before 10 o'clock in the morning. Shut the fuck up.

1

[heyitsnia]

I've got an idea, but you have to swear you didn't hear it from me.

CAMERON CARNEY

[gonnabefamous]

[1] my pockets are full of glitter but not MY glitter

[2] tried to took a nap in the squishmallow bin at walmart

[3] a random toaster ended up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.

[4] pick your karaoke song and let's GOOOOOO

4

[riledup]

omg stop rushing me this beauty takes time

MARTY GEARY

[survivalof]

[1] I am the drunkest dude in this tree.

[2] Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.

[3] I need 2 b more drunk and or high to talk about feelings

[4] Whoever put the tamboreen in the dryer is a douche. worst hangover wakeup ever

MARTY GEARY

[lucillefer]

[3] no offense but pass

FERN MUFFERAW

[nothalfplaid]

[1] Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

[2] my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

[3] somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.

[4] sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the french option on the ATM to challenge myself.

WEBSTER KNOX

[websterknox]

[1] I love you Lilika!!!!

[2] I'm sorry but Beethoven 9 gets steadily worse as the symphony progresses lol

[3] You can't tell anyone you you have to delete this text right away, but I'm a wizard and went to wizard school in the southwestern United States oops

2

[marno]

They went up to 9 movies????????

CASEY

[sunsoutgunsout]

[1] did we kick in my basement door last night

[2] i'm text both siblings drunk

[3] i'm m a t u r i n i just got in my D R I V E of shame

[4] sup

1 - CASEY N DINAH

[dinahdanger]

There was no we about it I am the strongest man alive.