TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT: PREPARE TO DIE EDITION

[10billionghosts]

SUP FUCKS. I'm drunk. Welcome to the entirely unannounced TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT: PREPARE TO DIE (in the woods) EDITION. BROTHER IS NOT HERE TO SAVE YOU, but maybe Pocket is idk I kinda wanna play Dimi instead we'll see how this goes lmao.

WHAT IS TFLN?

Texts from Last Night (TFLN) is a chat meme format (we would know it as a shitpost format, I think) wherein players post top level comments as characters, sharing 1 - 5 "texts from last night" that they sent while the character was absolutely shitassed, whether from drink, drugs, studying for their exams, or getting their ass beat in the waffle house parking lot.

Other characters then reply to one of those shitassed drunk texts as though they had been the recipient. Conversation ensues. Be gay, do crimes. Typos, misfires, and ill-advised love confessions are aggressively encouraged in the TFLN format.

TFLN can produce a lot of really amazingly ridiculous conversations, but it is inherently, at its core, kinda horny, imo. If you want to be horny, be horny. Embrace cringe. I personally dare you to experience euphoria.

HOW DO I PARTICIPATE?

STEP ONE: consider getting absolutely fucked up on your fucker upper of choice before you start, because it's all funnier that way. don't feel obligated to though. be the best person u can be i love u and wish u the absolute best. u are an audaciously talented and good person.

STEP TWO: decide who you want to post headers for and what their starters will be. we are all like, frankly? DISGUSTINGLY talented people, so I'm sure we can all make up fun and hysterical drunk texts all on our own, but the traditional way to play is to go to texts from last night and steal those texts and post a few you like as though your character smithed them, themself. I'm gonna try to get some examples together rq so you can see what they typically look like.

STEP THREE: post a header. for ease of use put your character name in the subject line (for example: DIMI EVERCREECH, OTA). if you're feeling self-conscious (you shouldn't bc we're all at the "openly farts in front of everyone" stage i think) you can list a specific subject line like "LIAM BLUMENTHAL | OPEN TO CANON MATES ONLY" and then we will all follow the social contract and only hit you with other FWA characters because we're all good ppl here.

in the body of your post, list 1 - 5 "texts from last night" that your character sent while discombobulated, feeling their feelings, drunk, high, or dissociated. It helps to label them [1] through [x] where [x] is however many. Consider these texts starters.

STEP FOUR: get fuckin involved, babe. reply to other ppls' comments with a sober or drunk response to one of their text options. be sure to list which drunk text you are replying to in the subject of your reply.

STEP FIVE: tie hector's corpse to your chariot and drunk chat with old friends or cross-canon to power up your struggling brain. promise the brain chemicals you'll get from a good thread are fuckin transcendent, y'all

STEP SIX: have fun. I'll come to your house and ruin your day if u don't.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What if the texting naturally transitions to a prose thread?
I'm so glad you asked and that I didn't put these words in your mouth for them. That's actually the most exciting thing about last night: having bad fucking ideas while drunk texting, and letting them transition into "meatspace" experiences for your characters. TRANSITION TO PROSE IF YOU WANT IN THIS POST. OR WRITE BRACKET RP. OR TAKE IT TO A SCREENED POST THAT I CAN'T SEE. I PROMISE I WILL STILL PERCEIVE THE POSITIVE WRITING ENERGY IN MY MIND'S EYE. POST THE FINISHED LOG TO THIS COMM FOR ME TO READ I FUCKING DARE U.

Can I play...
yes? play them. gooseverse, personaverse, otherverse, new OC we've never met, canon character from an obscure gacha game, IDFK I am so fucking excited to write with you assholes.

I don't know how to...
man I don't either and I really gotta pee but I'm not gonna until I get this posted. if it feels good do it.

But what if...
no worries baby if anyone's naughty I'll erase all their canon events from the timeline.

uh...
bro I really REALLY gotta pee please brb bio

can we have an ooc section?
lmao no make an ooc post if you want I am ungovernable.

Comments

Re: 2

[nonecknovember]

Because I'm approximately...

[ten minute pause while he does actual math]

seven to fourteen percent better looking with a beard.

[...]

I was gonna take a leak in here but now I'm weirded out by the 'infant' sign. Mom, come pick me up.

Re: 2

[peterpangolin]

yeah if you're into old men

it's from a jesus song. dunno how she expected anyone to read it when it's cursive and blurry af tho

gimme the address i'm gonna do somethin cool

Re: 2

[nonecknovember]

lmao Good thing for both of us you are.

I try to be a compassionate man, but I'm struggling to understand how jesus lyrics are going to make it any easier for me to take a piss, let alone anyone even remotely better adjusted than me.

idk, I'm pretty sure it's on the 4600 block of Woodson street. I'll listen for the shrieks of surprise as you fly into windows.

Re: 2

[peterpangolin]

you coming on to me? date's going that bad, huh?

Re: 2

[nonecknovember]

Depends. Is this going to change our dynamic, if so? Because I'm not ready to be your Wendy. I look terrible in an 1800s nightgown.

It was fuckin' fine 'til I had to take a leak, now I'm worried I'm entering into a quiverfull situation.

Re: 2

[peterpangolin]

you're already my wendy. you do the boring chore stuff i don't wanna do

it's also freaky how clean her sink is. what's her under cabinet sitch?

everyone else just stop reading this thread thanks and my apologies to alison

[nonecknovember]

You gotta do me a favor and in about twelve hours ask sober me to consider whether picking being Wendy to the permatwink was the superior choice to sleeping with Ms./Mrs/Possibly Mr. (listen it was real expensive whiskey) Live, Laugh, Lávate Las Manos.

One sec.

[...]

Lysol wipes. A half-empty spray bottle of bleach water. At LEAST 4 pairs of those yellow rubber gloves. Several years of walmart xmas gift collection bath soaps, mint in package. A can of aquanet that MIGHT be older than the last time I woke up. Half a rubber duck.

pete & wendy

[peterpangolin]

[ distant shrieks of surprise from neighboring units alert that peter is Near. ]

you already know it is or you wouldn'ta texted. got a clean n pristine pisser with that fancy blue water in it but you're thinkin bout this mouth 🤪

i want that half duck btw

[ several moments later, peter's grinning face appears in the small rectangular vent window above the shower-bath. he slides it open and fits his head in sideways to greet jack.]

"sup?"

[ he rolls his shoulders inward, contorting his small body to slip through the smaller gap and wiggling like a worm on wet pavement. this is most definitely the 'somethin cool' he was referring to. ]

"catch."

pete & wendy

[nonecknovember]

[ jack's got the half-a-duck tucked under his arm, midway through texting 'Gross. At least find some blue raspberry cand' when peter arrives, the shriek he lets out is somewhat undignified, especially considering he should've foreseen this. ]

"Fuck!"

[ oh, the lady of the house knows something's up now. jack swings his head up in time to see peter worm-on-a-string-ing his way, and in throwing his arms out to catch him, he promptly drops his phone in the toilet. ]

"Ohh my god..." [ he really liked that phone. sigh. ah, well. ] "The hell. Did you get your collar bone removed?"

pete & wendy

[peterpangolin]

[ peter falls weightlessly into jack’s arms, landing lightly on his tippy toes. he didn’t need the help, just the attention. jack is rewarded with a fond little scratch of the scruff under his chin as peter pulls away. ]

"Cool, huh?”

[ hands on his hips, proud of his weird body, and currently unconcerned about the attention they’ve drawn to the bathroom. ]

“Hey, why’d you throw your phone in the toilet?”

Re: pete & wendy

[nonecknovember]

"Ugh."

[ it is kind of cool. weak.

he peers down at his ancient iphone 5c, sunk down into the porcelain depths. ]

"Five or six fingers of whiskey, that's why."

[ jack puts his hands on his hips, as well, but it's less the heroic stance of someone perpetually youthful and more the defeated posture of someone who's just too drunk for this. behind the closed bathroom door comes a knock, and jack's temporary friend for the night asking if everything's okay.

he huffs a heavy sigh, directing what he says next to Pete, ]

"So we're getting the fuck out of here right?"

pete & wendy

[peterpangolin]

"yeah, let's roll."

[ peter zips over to yoink the cursive sign off the wall, then does a loop-de-loop midair to catch jack between his legs harpy-style and carry him off. he figures if he goes through the open window fast enough, physics will allow their bodies to compress through the smaller space.

he jets off at his full 140 speed, shattering the window and the metal frame on the sliding panel and littering broken glass on the ground below.

peter whips around to survey the damage. ]

"fuck yeah!!!"

[ he hoots, raising the stolen sign over his head in triumph, and beams down at jack....'s head sandwiched between his thighs.

lol oops ]

"ah, fuck. we left the duck."